Indigo Diamond
by Ghost edge
Summary: Iris Potter is not a normal girl that much we know. What if she isn't actually a Potter. What if she isn't even a human to begin with. WARNING will contain AD/Weasley bashing. GEM!FEM!HARRY no pairings decided
1. Chapter 1

**This will be a Steven universe / harry potter crossover.  
First off I don't own one of these shows and I don't own both otherwise I wouldn't make continuity mistakes.**

 **This is Gem!Harry story (which means that it is a Fem!Harry story because almost all gems, except Steven, have a female pronoun)**

 **So here we go**.

* * *

 **6000 years ago.**

Homeworld. A planet home to the gems. Homeworld was ruled by four matriarchs called the diamonds, they were seen as perfect beings.

There was Blue Diamond the most compassionate of them all. She often let her emotions run freely infecting other gems around her. Sometimes even her fellow diamonds couldn't let themselves go when she radiated her emotions. She was a diamond of forgiveness and passion.

She a flowing blue dress that reached the floor. Along with her blue skin there was a blue diamoned embedded in her bust just above the place where her flowing white hair joined another braid of white hair.

There was also Yellow Diamond the most temperamental of them all. She was the most unforgiving diamond compared to all the others. She oversaw the greatest standing army Homeworld had at its disposal.

Her yellow hair was shaped like a bowl cut with two spikes at the front. Like blue diamond she her diamond also rested above her bust. She wore a dress that screamed military. The skirt ended just below her knees and had a cut going down from her waist to the end of the skit

The third diamond and also the youngest diamond was the kindest om them all. She was loved by all her subjects not only for her status as a diamond but also because she showed kindness towards all her subjects. Her name was Pink Diamond.

She wore a form fitting suit and her diamond was located where her bellybutton would be if she were human. Her hair was styled outwards and resembled that of a lions mane.

Then there was White Diamond. No gem ever had come into contact with White Diamond except for the other diamonds and their pearls who were sworn to secrecy.

She wore a wedding like dress and her gem was located on her forehead. Her hair white hair went up defying gravity.

The diamonds at just received a message detailing an uprising led by one of Pink Diamond's Rose Quartzes. They rebelled on the only pink colony called Earth. Now all four diamonds were gathered in their court room to discuss the Rebel Cell.

"Yellow what are your thoughts on the uprising." White Diamond asked her yellow counter.

"I think we should just be done with it and blast the planet with all those traitors to ashes." She snarled.

Pink Diamond and Blue Diamond shared a glance before Pink spoke. "Sorry Yellow. But I cannot allow that to happen. The Earth is much too valuable for me."

"And how do you suppose we should do with these insurgents?" Yellow Diamond asked back.

"You would say the same if it were your only colony Yellow. But your right I haven't the slightest of ideas on how to deal with uprising." Pink said resigned.

"May I propose something?" White Diamond asked as she spoke for the first time since the meeting had commenced. Seeing affirmative nods from her fellow diamonds she continued.

"I say it is time to make use of a gem disruption cannon. So that every gem on the surface of that planet will become corrupted and will only hold primal instincts. After that we'll just send a quartz squad to deal with those corrupted gems and resume our business there."

"That plan sounds good." Blue Diamond said.

"Yes, but I also suggest we add one to our numbers." White Diamond said.

All the other diamonds looked at White Diamond as if she had grown a second head.

"Think about it. It will draw the focus from the defeated rebels to a new matriarch." White said.

"And how do you think we can accomplish such a feat White." Pink Diamond queried.

"I've created a ritual that while certainly new will grant us with a new diamond. The reason I didn't proposed it sooner was because there weren't four of us at the time, now the time has come for us to make use of it."

"And why do you need the four of us?" Yellow Diamond questioned.

"For the ritual to work we Diamonds each have to provide energy simultaneously to a gem that will be conceived in an incubator. Where the new Diamond will develop and manifest for the first time." White answered.

"How long will it take to prepare for this ritual?" Blue Diamond asked

"Not long I've already made preparations. The only thing missing is your presence."

*different location*

The diamonds arrived in a antechamber that would lead them to the ritual chamber whilst continuing walking to the ritual chamber they conversed among themselves while their pearls where trying to keep up with their mistresses.

"So how much of our time will this ritual take?" Pink asked.

"The ritual itself will take but a cycle. The incubation however will take close to five or six millennia." White Diamond answered.

"That long!." Yellow Diamond roared.

"Come one Yellow, I for one think that the wait is worthwhile. We would gain a much larger infrastructure with a new diamond." Blue coaxed her Yellow friend.

"Uuugh. Fine, fine." Yellow conceded.

As they entered the ritual room they saw a pillar and with they saw a purple diamond laying in the middle of a ritual diagram. The diagram itself was a circle with a four pointed star in the middle. At the end of each star was a diamond shape just as in the middle where the purple diamond was resting.

"Now, each of us has to stand in at the end of the star inside the diamond shapes. Our order doesn't matter." White said.

Each diamond took its place Yellow going to the closest position, Blue and Pink on either side of her and White Diamond standing in the far corner of the room.

"Now let your energy flow through you and let it reach out to the gem middle of the diagram."

As they do what they are told the diamonds start focusing their energies at the gem in the middle. A light beam shoots from each diamond's gem linking them to the purple diamond. The energy output is so great that the diamonds start to float a little of the ground.

It took a while to charge the incubator with the necessary energy. But when the diamond were reunited with the floor beneath their feet they were so exhausted they retreated back into their gems to rest.

* * *

 **Nearly 6 thousand years later (1980 for earth) location: Home-World**

The gem war had left its scars upon the earth and the gem society one being Pink Diamond shattered by one of her own Rose Quartzes. The rebellion had ended when the diamonds fired their gem destabilizer corrupting every gem that wasn't shielded.

The earth was cut off from the Warp-Pad network and all the shrines were abandoned.

All the remaining Diamonds were gathered at home world for they felt that the gem within the incubator was about the be born.

The Diamonds watched with baited breath as their new creation came to be. The incubator opened releasing the compressed gasses that were a byproduct of the incubation. Inside the incubator lay a little gem with a deep purple diamond on her sternum where her collarbones met. She had a small tuft off purple hair that was a shade lighter than her gem and lavender skin.

"WHY IS IT SO TINY? DID THE RITUAL GO WRONG!" Yellow Diamond roared waking the tiny purple gem.

White diamond moved towards the distressed gem who wailed inside of what remained of its incubator.

"The ritual went smoothly. I didn't mention it before but I based this new ritual on organic reproduction." White said whilst picking up the tiny Diamond. "In essence she is our offspring."

"This is unacceptable!" Yellow roared.

"What are your thought on our offspring Blue?" White asked ignoring Yellow's temper tantrum.

"In honesty I am angry you 'forgot' to mention this part to us. I want to be angry but I can't bring myself to hate this little one." She said moving towards White Diamond who handed the gem over to the blue matriarch.

"WE CAN'T STAND FOR THIS, THIS ….. ABOMINATION!" Yellow Diamond roared prompting Blue to shield the gem from her.

"If you feel that way you are free to shatter her." White said as she took the gem from Blue and handed it over to Yellow.

While Yellow raised her hand charging it with energy to shatter the gem, Blue looked like she wanted to interfere but she was outnumbered at the moment. During all this White Diamond looked indifferent.

Yellow was intent on shattering the gem with her own fists. She charged them. But before she even could think of bringing it down upon the gem, her fist started to shake.

"I-I-I can't!" she said releasing the energy from her fist and engulfing the gem in her arms. She allowed herself to look weak in front of her fellow diamonds. Who came to stand around her and their 'daughter' looking as she kept sleeping, unaware of what an impact she had made on the matriarchs.

"Our Indigo Diamond."

* * *

 **Time skip**

The Diamonds had retreated to the citadel to look over their precious Indigo Diamond. It seemed that she had a positive effect on all the Diamonds.

The angry outbursts from Yellow Diamond became few and far between. Blue Diamond did not feel as much sorrow for the loss of Pink. The one that changed the least was White Diamond, whose behavior stayed over all the same.

Live on home world was once again peaceful for the Diamonds they would wait to announce the arrival of their 'daughter' to the rest of Home-World until she was a little more developed.

Everything was perfect.

Blue Diamond had just lulled Indigo Diamond to sleep and watched over her while she slept. She didn't understand why their daughter needed to sleep but deep down she felt deep satisfaction in watching the infant sleep.

"Is she sleeping?" Yellow gently asked as she walked in to the chambers of their offspring.

"Yes." Blue said not taking her eyes of their daughter as Yellow embraced her from behind.

They stood there watching their daughter sleep until they were interrupted by a bright flash of flames just above their daughter. When the flash died a magnificent avian creature appeared flying just above their daughter.

"Get away from her you VILE creature!" Yellow Diamond bellowed at the bird trying to reach for it.

But before Yellow could even touch the bird it shot toward their daughter. It folded her in its wings and with a flash of flames it disappeared along with their daughter.

Before Yellow could voice her anger, Blue cried out in anguish radiating her emotions around the room rendering Yellow in the same state as Blue Diamond.

 **Earth**

A couple day ago the Potters had received the new that their baby was stillborn. Both Lily and James were devastated. They hadn't even told anyone except Dumbledore regarding the prophecy.

For Dumbledore this was a huge obstacle. The Longbottom boy has to inaccessible once the parents were out of the way. While the Potter child would have been perfect for the prophecy. So he ordered his phoenix Fawkes to retrieve, a child that would fit in the prophecy.

Albus sat in his study when his Pheonix came with the child that would be raised by his manipulations.

"Welcome to the world Iris Violet Potter."

* * *

 **That is the end of this chapter**

 **Feel free to leave a comment, feedback is always appreciated.**


	2. Chapter 2

**alright chaps, thank you for all the positive feedback**

 **I still don't own steven universe (that belongs to Rebecca sugar) or harry potter (everyone knows who the owner of this awesome universe is)**

 **now here I reward you with**

 **Chapter 2**

* * *

 **Hogwarts august 2** **nd** **1980**

Fate seemed to hate Albus at the moment. He had asked his phoenix to bring an infant that would bring the end of Tom Riddle's reign of terror. The baby in front of him was not even human to begin with. How could he convince everyone that this was the child of James and Lily Potter.

He had an hard time with disguising the little girl in front of him because no matter how hard he tried, he could not let any spell stick to her skin. He really did not want to resort to drastic measures but he had no choice, it was for the greater good after all.

He grabbed a rune carving knife from his desk and place the girl on an table he had conjured. He took the knife and pressed it against arm. The knife pierced her skin, but he did not encounter any bones. As he pressed further the knife pierced the other end of her arm.

"What are you?" Albus wondered out loud as he looked at the knife that was embedded in the infants arm.

But before any deity could answer his question, the girl lit up, leaving only that horrid diamond that was stuck on her chest.

Albus felt himself grow heavy. He had just killed the best chance of saving the wizarding world. He stood there frozen for minutes not knowing what to do.

'NO, it cannot end like this, it-'

His thoughts were interrupted by a flash of white light. He shield his eyes and looked for the source. It came from the gem that was stuck in the girl's chest. The light died down and a little body formed around the gem. First it was just light but when the light died down it was a baby. The baby girl he thought to have killed just rebirthed in front of his very own eyes.

He stood up and walked towards the table again. He picked the girl up and examined her for any problems, but it seemed she was perfectly fine. He thought for a moment he couldn't risk damaging the gem or the girl might die, so casting a spell or carving a rune on it was out of the question. Than it hit him.

He could create an artificial body for the girl the stone would be hidden under her skin and she would be just like any other human being. Good thing he never listened to the his teachers warning of human transmutation.

* * *

 **Time skip, Goderics Hollow 11 pm, august 2** **nd** **1980**

*knock, knock*

It was the middle of the night in Goderics Hollow and James Potter was consoling his wife. Two day ago they had lost their child during the labor. Everything was fine during the pregnancy but whilst in labor something went wrong and the midwife couldn't explain what went wrong. They had lost the baby and as if that was not enough for the young couple they had also gotten the news that Lilly was unable to carry any children full term.

They' already prepared the nursery for their little baby that didn't even have a chance to see it.

They had not told anybody yet except for Dumbledore. The healer and midwife at Saint Mungo's were both oath sworn to secrecy.

*knock, knock*

James looked at his wife concerned.

"I'll go." He stood but Lily clung to his arm begging not to leave her alone. He looked at his wife and together they made their way to the door. When they opened it they were met with-

"P-professor Dumbledore? What are you doing here at this hour?" James asked as he was the only one capable of speech at the moment.

"I am just an old man, who was just in the neighborhood and I decided to check on two of my most greatest students. How are you holding up my boy?" He asked with a twinkle in his eyes.

"We're," he looked at his wife. "We're coping. Thank you professor."

"I don't want to intrude but these evenings can be very cold for an old man like me, can we continue this conversation inside with some hot tea?"

"Of course." Lily spoke.

Neither of them noticed the bundle cradled in Dumbledore's arms thanks to the fact it was wrapped in the 'barrowed' invisibility cloak.

As they sat down Lily went back to the kitchen to make some tea for their guest.

"So, professor-."James begun but before he could press on he was interrupted by Dumbledore.

"Please my boy, I haven't been your teacher for years. Call me Albus but if you really want to be formal you can use Headmaster either is fine."

"So _headmaster_ what have you been doing in these parts of England so far away from Hogwarts?"

After finishing the question. Lily came walking in holding a tray of steaming teacups. She set them down on the table in between James and Dumbledore and sat down next to James, seeking his comforting embrace.

"Well the reason for that is…." He stopped and quickly pulled his wand out of his sleeve. Before James or Lily could do anything about it he spoke.

"Obliviate."

James and Lily gave a blank eyed stare they blinked a few times before Dumbledore followed up with a.  
"Cofundo."

He took the invisibility cloak from the little girl and handed her over to Lily, who reached out for the baby.

"Now Lily I think it is high time you put your _daughter_ to sleep for the night. It has been a long day after all. Goodnight _Iris Violet Potter_."

Lilly nodded numbly standing up and walking towards the nursery they had prepared. Once she had returned Dumbledore spoke once again.

"Now James, Lilly I'll give you time to decide on a secret-keeper. I think this Saturday I would be able to perform the _fidelius-charm_. Till then, good night." And with a sweep of his outlandish robes Dumbledore left the Potter cottage and apperated back the edge of the Hogwarts wards.

* * *

 **Time skip**

"GIRL, GET UP!" the unholy voice of aunt petunia screeched in the early morning.

The door from her cupboard slammed over and the bony hand of her aunt Petunia reached out to drag her out by her jet black hair. Still clothed in the clothes she had to use as pj's and as daywear. They were big, sloppy and old knock offs from her whale of a cousin.

"Get moving girl prepare some breakfast, and if I catch you burning anything, or stealing away from my Dudders you will be sleeping in the tool shed for a week." Her aunt all but screamed at her.

Girl that was the only thing they called her. She had lived with the Dursleys for four years now and they had called her nothing else.

When she first went to school she got detention for 'trying to be funny' when the teacher called her name, that had gotten a beating from her dear uncle Vernon. After that she excelled at school but once she got her first ever test results she was again beaten by her uncle. They had believed she used her 'freakiness' to outperform their perfect little son.

So she had to perform worse than Dudley which was difficult because he failed every test because he got stuck at question number one: 'What is your name?'

She had to hand her next test in blank, after which she would get detention, which ended up in a beating at home from her uncle, again.

So if she was going to get beaten no matter what, she decided she would at least not ruin her future. So to the astonishment of her elementary school teacher she became top of her class. And when she came home she would be beaten by her uncle.

Today at school they had gotten the results back from a math test, which she got a perfect score on. Now she was walking sitting in the back of the car with her cousin grinning at her, even he knew what was coming.

When she came around the walked into number 4 Privet Drive the door was immediately closed behind her and her uncles fat pudgy fist connected with her gut.

Her uncle's face was a hilarious shade of purple, his eyes were almost popping out of their sockets and his moustache was twitching.

She met his glare right on. Her green eyes narrowed turned the same shade of purple as her uncles face.

Then a fist connected with her jaw.

"NO FREAKISH NONSENSE IN MY HOUSE YOU LITTLE BITCH!"

*time skip*

The was a rapid knocking on her door. Iris groaned in her cupboard, today was her cousins 10th birthday.

"UP girl make breakfast for my Dudykins." The horse woman said as she handed Iris a frying pan. "And don't you dare try to spoil my Dudders special day."

She made her way in the kitchen and put the frying pan on the stove. She put it on a low fire and threw almost half a pound of butter in it, just the way her cousin and uncle liked it. She put the bacon in the pan and stared at the unhealthy junk.

She was forced to eat some of the unhealthy junk to, because her aunt was jealous at her perfect bone structure and heart shaped face. But no matter what her body would not gain any fat. Shure her hair was always a mess but that came from the lack of showers she was allowed. She didn't even own a hair brush.

Once her aunt had cut her hair short enough that she could be compared to a boy except for her fringe. She was ridiculed by all the other children at school that day. But the next day her hair had fully grown back, she had received multiple beating for that.

Once she was done frying the bacon she walked over to the table and put the bacon on the plates while Dudley was just finishing counting his presents.

"34 … uhm … 35 … eh … 36. 36 THAT IS THE SAME AS LAST YEAR." Dudley wailed.

"Come, come Duddy poo you haven't counted auntie Marge's gift yet." She said as Vernon showed him a present that he missed.

"Then that's …" "37." "Shut up freak, I know that." Dudley said. "Dad hit the freak."

Vernon reached out to Iris and smacked on the back of her head, making her drop the scraps she was allowed to eat.

"That's it, you don't appreciate the food we feed you FREAK!" Vernon spat screaming at the last word. "No breakfast for you, now hurry and go to miss Figg. We are going with Dudley and his friends to Amusement Park, so you better be on your best behavior, or ELSE-." He said not finishing the threat.

* * *

 **thank you guys for reading and as always stay awesome**


	3. Chapter 3

**So I got some pm and review saying with the way the Dursleys are treating Iris she could pop at any given moment through the punches she receives on a daily basis.**

 **Sorry but you are WRONG**

 **In the previous chapter I mentioned that Dumbles made an artificial body through the use of alchemy (virtual cookie for the ones that got the reference to FMA B)**

 **Now the concept of her body is simple. Her gem lies beneath her skin at the same place where it normally would for her. The gem acts as her magical core and soul.**

 **She still has the scar from the night that Voldemort tried to kill her but it is not stuck to her gem. IT IS STUCK TO THE BODY THAT IS AROUND HER GEM. So when her body minus the gem is destroyed she can still live, and she can reform like any other gem.**

 **still don't own Steven universe nor harry potter**

 **Chapter 3**

'Another morning, another day in Durscatraz.' Iris thought as her aunt rapped on her door, demanding she make breakfast. She would never admit it to them but she loathed the Dursleys with a passion.

While she put on a new set of hand-me-downs from her cousin. She could her cupboard shaking thanks to her cousin bounding of the stairs, probably so he could longer watch his favorite morning cartoon.

"Make some breakfast girl and don't you even dare screw up Dudders special day." Her aunt spat with more venom than could be humanly possible.

She walked in the kitchen and she directly noticed the large pile of presents that were set around the table. She went to the stove and put the frying pan on. When she was almost done her cousin led by her aunt came in to see all the presents.

"How many are there?" He demanded to know from his father.

"35 son. I've counted them myself this morning." Vernon said proudly. Iris however remembering last year could feel the temper tantrum coming from a mile away.

"WHAT! THAT IS …" he counted on his fat fingers. "TO LESS THEN LAST YEAR!" he screamed with a pudgy red face.

"Well Duddykins, some of the presents this year are bigger than the presents from last year." Her aunt tried to say before uncle Vernon said.

"The boy wants his money worth, atta boy son. We'll just get three more presents when we're on the road."

Breakfast was spent unwrapping his presents, but halfway through the 25th present the phone went off.

"I'll get it." Petunia said as everyone continued to eat breakfast. "Oh, yes. Oh well get well soon Ms. Figg." She hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" Vernon asked looking up from his newspaper.

"That was Ms. Figg she has broken her leg thanks to one of those cats of hers. Now she can't watch her." Petunia while gesturing to Iris.

"What about your friend, ehm, Yvonne?"

"On vacation to Mallorca."

"Marge maybe."

"Are you daft, she hates the runt."

"We could leave her here."

"NO, I just had her clean the furniture. If we leave her here she'll turn this house into a pigsty. We can take her with us and leave in the car."

"NO, that's a brand new car, if we leave her in there she'll just dirty the seats with her freakishness."

Dudley looked up from unwrapping his presents and looked at his parents then at Iris.

"NO, I don't want HER to go with us. She'll RUIN EVERTHING." He said while clutching his mother pretending to cry while sending a grin aimed at Iris who couldn't care less.

"Oh shush, Duddy. _She won't_ ruin your day _won't she."_ Petunia said while glaring at Iris.

"No, she _won't_." Vernon threatened while also glaring at Iris who was just biting in to a small slice of toast.

Iris gulped. This was not going to be an easy ride for her.

* * *

Iris sat sandwiched in between her cousin and Pierce Polkins, one of Dudley best friends. He had a ratty posture and he would hold the kids Dudley would beat up, this ended up being Iris very often.

Now they were on their way to the zoo for Dudley's birthday outing. She wanted to go and watch the lions first but Pierce and Dudley wanted to go to the house of reptiles to see some cool snakes. Or other reptilian creatures. They sought out the biggest snake they could find. A Brazilian boa constrictor. Alas it was vast asleep.

"Make it move!" Dudley ordered not taking his piggish nose of that separated the creature, that could wrap itself several times around Vernon's new car.

"Come on. Do something." Vernon muttered whilst knocking against the glass.

It did nothing.

"Well that blows. Let's go check if there are any cobras D." Pierce said aiming the last part at Dudley.

Iris looked at the snake that was still curled up.

"Sorry about that." The snake moved its head as if it had heard her.

"You, you can hear me? Wait you can understand me?" Iris asked astonished.

The snake nodded its head.

Iris looked at the sign that described the snake, it said that the species was native to the continent of South-America, Brazil if you wanted to be precise.

"So what is the Amazon like this time of year?" she asked trying keep a conversation going.

The snake lifted its head, then pointed with his tail to the text beneath its description. It read: 'Born in captivity.'

"Oh, sorry about that." The snake waved her of as if to say: 'No biggie.'

"MISTER AND MISSES DURSLEY LOOK AT WHAT IRIS IS DOING!" A voice yelled from the other side of the room.

Iris was shoved out of the way by her whale of a cousin, who together with Pierce pressed their noses against the exhibit.

'You MORONS! Can't you just,' "Leave him ALONE!" Iris screamed the last part. She was angry she was furious.

At that moment the glass that separated everyone from the snake disappeared, and Pierce and Dudley fell into the lake of the habitat. The visitors screamed in panic as the snake slithered its way out of the habitat.

" _Tanksssss Amiga._ " The snake said?

"Your welcome?" she said.

And with that the looming shadow of uncle Vernon appeared behind her. His eyes where almost begging to spring out of their sockets and his skin was almost blue. He obviously could not speak without screaming his lungs out so, instead Petunia ordered her to go to the car.

During the whole car ride no words were exchanged. When they got back home after dropping Pierce of at his house, Vernon rounded on Iris.

"YOU INCOLENT BRAT. WE GIVE YOU A ROOF TO LIVE UNDER AND WE GIVE YOU FOOD. AND THIS, THIS IS HOW YOU TEPAY US!" he socked her right in the jaw. She spit out some blood.

"DON'T YOU DARE DIRTY MY CARPET WITH YOUR FREAK BLOOD!" Petunia screeched, which earned her another punch. Vernon's knuckles were now covered with her blood. After the third punch everything went black.

* * *

Darkness. Everything was black and cold. Iris opened her eyes. She was not at privet drive number four. Nor was she inside. She looked at her surroundings. She could not recognize the landscapes, it was all a blur. The Dursley had dumped her in some random place, probably far away.

She stumbled a bit. The ground underneath her feat turned from grassy to solid. There was a bright flash of white and the sound of screeching tires filled her ears. The car came to a halt. Just as it touched her hip. The doors of the cars opened.

"Oh dear. Dan you almost ran over that little." The woman said, the only thing Iris could make out was that her hair restrained in a knot.

"Are you alright? What's your name? Where do you live? What is the phone number of your guardian?" the questions that were asked by the man who knelt in front of her went all over her, because the lack of nutrition caught up to her, and she fell unconscious in the arms that first were on her shoulders holding her upright.

"Emma, call an ambulance, I think she is unconscious." He said after pressing two fingers at her wrist.

"Already on it. Damn, no service. What are we going to do now Dan." The woman said as she stood next to her husband.

"Were too far away from any hospital. I think it is best we let her rest at our home and we'll see there." The couple went to pick the young girl up, but as soon as they tried to lift her Emma felt something that alarm bells of in her head.

"She is far to light."

* * *

 **t-t-t-t-t-thanks for reading folks (I don't own this phrase either)**

 **feel free to point out any plot holes**


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